I see you

I see you there. You are reading my blog. Your heart aches for me. You wish there was something you could do. Something to make my life a little happier without her. You rejoice when I have a decent day. You pray that my sorrows will be washed away. You see me writing, thinking I can't see you, but I do. You never know what to say, so you don't. You don't want to hurt me any more. You consider taking my suggestions of how you can help, but you think maybe it would come better from someone who knows me more. Sometimes you judge me for my amount of pain. Sometimes you worry if I will always be this way. But you don't ask me those questions. You don't think it will help. 

Did you know that hardly anyone says her name? My baby's name is rarely ever spoken. It's Addison, if by chance you forgot. Would you have said her name if you had gotten to hold her? Or maybe you knew her favorite snack? Would you talk about her if she had a play date with your child? I think so... I think that if you felt like you knew her, you would. 

Here is what I have to say to you for not saying her name. 

Remembering
by Elizabeth Dent

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further,
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine."
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a life time