Addison River Rusch: Photos of Addison

Showing posts with label Photos of Addison. Show all posts

Thursday, September 11, 2014

6 months

My Dearest Addison,

It has been six months since you were born. Six months since I never heard you cry. Six months since since you never opened your eyes. Six months since our lives changed forever... But not how we expected.

I miss you. I have distractions though. I think you would be proud of me.

I'm going to share your story this Sunday. So far, I have about 60 people who have rsvped. It has been a while since I have told anyone your story, mostly because no one has asked to hear it. It's important to me that they know it though. .. That they know you.

You room is still up but not finished. Maybe next week I will start working on your curtains and crib skirt...

I doubt I'll ever stop wishing to go back. Back to your life. Back to when I was your mother and that was my full time job.

I will always love you.

With time passing against my will,

Your Mommy

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The depth of our pain

There have been 7 new commenters on the blog and I have fallen behind in my picture posting. A lot of the pictures I have shared are just pretty but some have meaning and depth and history. This picture below is one I have debated sharing. It is the only picture we have of us looking at the camera while holding our little girl. To me, we look awful. Absolutely terrible. We were running on minimal sleep. Our hopes and dreams had just been shattered. Our dead baby is in our arms. This is not the family portrait we should have had.

I had no idea what to do when she said to look at the camera. What kind of face are you supposed to make in this sort of situation? How can you adequately express that kind of emotion that is so raw? I don't think I have ever seen a picture or a painting in my life that shows what this picture shows.