I didn't do anything wrong

I guess I'm getting used to it. The fact that she is not here. That doesn't mean I'm ok with it at all. I might never be ok with that. But I wake up and know that she's not here. I remember that my baby died and this is my real life.

I think other people have felt this way. People maybe going through a divorce or who lost their jobs. It's easy to ask, how did I get here. Was it something I said or did. Well if you lost your job or got a divorce, it might be. Or maybe it's what you didn't say or do. Or maybe it is what they didn't say or do. Regardless, you might be able to track it back to a moment when it didn't feel right. It was more than just a mistake. It was life altering. 

I am thankful to not have that feeling. I didn't say anything or do anything wrong to lose my baby. I didn't waist any time away from her. I'm not trying to compare myself to others who lose their children. I just am glad to not regret what happened  when Addison lost her life. 

I am so thankful she picked me to be her mommy. I would do it all again. 

With Love,

Addison's Mommy