I Miss Her Today

May 7

I miss Addison today. I miss her everyday, but today I miss her as my daughter. I miss the relationship I expected to have with her, especially as she became a woman. I wanted to help her learn how to do her hair. How to use a curling iron without burning herself or how to put on mascara without poking out her eyes. I wanted to see her go to prom and see her daddy shake that young man's hand so hard that it nearly broke as he said, "Back by 11, or else..." I wanted to eat ice cream and watch stupid movies with her as her first crush broke her heart. I wanted to teach her how to be tall, or a giant as I usually put it. That includes standing up straight despite the annoying comments her peers would make about her height. I could have helped her find a good pair of jeans that didn't show her ankles. I wanted to teach her not to settle for a short guy just because the tall ones were all taken or hadn't hit their growth spurt yet....

There were just so many things. So many daily things I wanted to do with her. Things other parents may not even realize are a luxury.

I know I will get to raise her again. My belief is that Heavenly Father allows parents to raise their children to adulthood in heaven if their child passed away while on earth. I don't care if you don't agree so keep it to yourself. To me this is beautiful. This is hope that I will get to do the things I want to. And I won't have to do them on this earth while everyday is a struggle against temptation. I'm not trying to get all preachy. I actually hate being all churchy about Addison, but right now it helps.

A good friend mentioned to me a lovely, lovely belief of hers the other day and I also believe it is true. There is no official revelation to prove its truth but it just feels right. My friend shared with me that she believes that when a baby dies, Jesus Christ personally carries them home to heaven. They are never alone. Addison was carried home by The Savior literally. We can all feel carried spiritually, but can you imagine to be snuggled in his arms? To feel his tender warmth? My Addison got that. She was special enough to Him.

With Love,

Addison's Mommy

34 likes

Debra V. Wade: She is indeed that special. What an amazing mom you have become. Hugs and prayers always coming your way and I know that Heavenly Father will have his arms around you in the coming days that may prove tough. Y'all are so loved.

Catherine Doerr: Yes I believe the Savior did carry Addison home. Its amazing how he can do things like that and still carry us on our earthly journey when we need him to. Hugs Sista

Mary Rusch: You are not being preachy. I believe as you do and I can picture the Savior with Addison in His arms.

Ginger Faulk: What a lovely image...Addison being cradled in the arms of our Savior. Thanks for sharing that.