"Exactly the Same"

April 27

I hate the words "the same". I hate them even more when "exactly" precedes them. No one has been through what I have. Not in the same way. No one feels what I feel. Not in the same way.

No one is the same. No experience is the same. Not even close. Especially not exactly. I'm not trying to say no one has suffered. Everyone has suffered and felt pain. Some in very similar ways. The similarity helps us to empathize for one another. Some are capable of more empathy because of their similar experiences. Some wish they could empathize more so that they could help me. But even those with similar experiences are not always what I need. We are different and need different things. All of us.

It makes it hard for others to know what I need. My differences from others.

Today there was a musical number at church. It was the same song as was played as opening at Addison's funeral. I had already been crying earlier and then I started to sob. Then I started to wail while hyperventilating. What did I need in that moment? I hardly even knew myself...

I survived. Otherwise I couldn't be writing this. Some days are like that. Just survive. Actually that was sorta in today's lesson... Enduring to the end. I have the best reason to do just that but I also have the challenge to survive.

Surviving won't always be so hard. Especially as I get closer to the end.

With love,

Addison's Mommy

10 likes

Emily Rusch: Just keep swimming.

Sarah Latchaw: That was a beautiful song at her funeral.

Tabitha Weiler Armstrong: I was thinking of you through the whole hymn. It will always remind me of your sweet girl. Love you, friend.

Tabitha Owens Welch: You're so brave Emily! I think about you and your sweet baby often and continue to pray for you that Heavenly Father will give you the strength that you need

Amy Dupras Granger: Tears are a language God understands. Liquid prayers..... What words cannot express.