No More Sympathy Cards

April 9

It's been about a week since we have gotten a sympathy card. I'm not asking ppl to go out and send some. It's just something I noticed. It says that people are moving on. To me it does. I still have a huge support group but people still have to move on. I can't. I emotionally just can't and I don't want to. I'm holding onto her with all my heart. The memories are not allowed to fade. Her stuff is not going to be put away. The hospital baby match bracelet on my wrist cannot fall off.

My baby is a huge part of my life. I could even say she is my life right now. Every action and thought revolves around her. I wish she was that for everyone so it wouldn't feel lonely. I don't feel very lonely right now but I think it's coming. River will help. Close friends will help. Everyone will want to help. But no one can give me my baby. I'm a mother without my baby. My baby died. She is gone and there was nothing I could do to save her. How I wish I could have at least been able to try. I would have given my life if I could have saved hers.

But I couldn't. And I can't. My baby died. My daughter died. Addison died.
 
Love,

Addison's Mommy

17 likes

Jessica Snider: If you're still wearing your hospital bracelet be careful...Charlie's fell off his wrist and was lost. We love y'all and are praying for you!!

Debra V. Wade: Wish a hug would help or a card, a kind word, I wish just closing your eyes tight would just make it all a dream. I wish all the hurt that we each struggle with could be prayed or wished away. Instead we will wake up and breath in, put one foot in front of the other and just be there for one another. Your family is in our thoughts today.

Tiffany Spagnuolo Burlew: 14 years ago my sister lost her baby daughter. She said this is the time it started to get really hard, when people were gone and going on with their lives and she was left in the quiet without her daughter. Time to think and remember her. I didn't know how to help her and in reality I couldn't. Unfortunately this is journey you must walk through on your own in your own way. My sister still has her daughters pictures up, her special baby items still out and on display. Every birthday is celebrated and she is never forgotten. You will find what works for you. My heart breaks for you. Just know you have many people praying for you.

Jennifer Wallace Wells: You are still in our prayers every night. Love you!

Serenity Anderson: I really like the song "when David heard". It's a choral song and I felt the same singing this song as I did when I read this post.