Letter From Daddy

March 18 at 10:56am

Letter from Daddy (read at the funeral)

Dear Addison,

The most anxious I got was at the gender reveal where we found out that we were going to be blessed with a little baby girl. I had wanted to start off with a boy or a couple of boys so that when or if we had a girl they would be able to watch over their little sister. The months then flew by. The first time I felt you move was so exciting and awesome. Whenever I was at work or school and I would come home to you and your mom, I would ask if you were moving so I could feel you. Your mom would wake me up in the morning to let me feel you move. You were always gentle to her and never caused her great pain. When we found out that you were going to come to us a little sooner than expected we were so excited.

The morning that you were not doing well brought great fear to me. I was in fear for you and your mother. Your mom does not know this but before she was taken to the O.R., I was holding her hand and with my other hand on her head I gave her a quick priesthood blessing, in silence. I prayed the whole time you were in the O.R., and when I first saw you come out I saw how beautiful you are. The first time I saw your mother, I fell in love with her and it was the same with you. This love for my child is so great. I checked on your mother and then followed you to the NICU. As I saw them working on you I broke down and the nurse told me to go be with your mom because she was going to be out soon. When your mom woke up, I told her how beautiful you are.

That evening we brought all of your grandparents down to see you. They said you are so beautiful and every nurse and doctor said you are so beautiful too. That you could take one look at you and they knew you are a girl. Your mom says you look like me, so I don't know what that says about me, if I have a lot of girly features too.

Your Grandpa Rusch and I were the last ones to see you. We then gave you a priesthood blessing. Your grandpa and I wept as the spirit was overwhelming us, and I felt a great peace come over me letting me know, that no matter the outcome all would be well. You, your mother, and I would be fine.

We tried to spend as much time with you, besides the times that we had to take care of your mom. We told you about how we met and about our lives. Your mom had to go back to her room, but I wanted to stay and talk with you alone for a little bit. I told you about your great grandpa, Captain Jack Rusch, and what a great man he was, and how you two have the same birthday. I told you that he was watching over you. I also spoke to you in Spanish. When I finished speaking to you, I saw your hand move a little. When that happened, I knew you knew it was your daddy talking to you.

When being with you, your mother would tell me that you had my black hair and my complexion and you have your mother's lips and caring personality. You are so beautiful and we kind of knew you would be.

When we got to bathe you for the first time and dress you we did it very gently and with much love. Before you were born, I had thought many times of when I would get to lay my hands on your head and give you the name, Addison River Rusch. Every time I would think about that I would tear up. And I think it made me love you even more. The closer we got to your due date the more I wanted out here. When in placing my hands on your head to give you a name a blessing, I started crying. A nurse that we had met, who is a member of our church stood next to your mom to comfort her. The spirit was so strong in the room at that moment… I don't think there was a single dry eye in the room. Your sweet spirit had touched so many people in that room and to countless others around the world through the Facebook posts that we had been writing.

We are honored to be your parents and love you so much. Like I had said in your blessing, we will be with you soon. But we know that we will be able to feel your presence as we are obedient to our father’s commandments. We are very blessed for the time that we were able to spend with you and get to see what a lovely daughter our father in heaven has blessed us with. Addison, we love you so much and will miss you and hope that you will watch over us and your future brothers and sisters as they come into this world. As your Aunt Emily said, “You will always be the first Rusch girl.”

Love,

Daddy — with Nathan Rusch.

128 likes

Serenity Anderson Wow so touching and sweet

Brea Echard I shouldn't have read that while I'm driving...mostly now bc I'm crying a bit! That was beautiful I wish I could have attended the service yesterday. I'm so impressed with y'all's spiritual strength and can only hope to one day have a family as strong as the one you've made

Tabitha Owens Welch Just beautiful.

Robbie Baumgardner Stone Nathan....thank you for sharing these amazing letters for those of us who couldn't attend a beautiful tribute to your beautiful Addison.