Dropping the Bomb

March 26

If anyone has ever lost someone close, you probably know that although you are grieving, so is everyone else for you. I learned this before Nathan and I got married. A friend of mine from church passed away very unexpectedly. At the funeral, I noticed I was crying more than the widow and she was even smiling and comforting others. I'm glad I had that experience because that's how it was with Addison. I wasn't faking it though. I really was happy to see everyone. Happy they had come to meet my beautiful daughter and support us. Now it's harder though. Not talking to the people who already know but the people who don't. Every time I tell someone, it feels like I'm dropping a bomb on them. They don't know how to respond and I don't know how I want them to respond. Some of them get so close to crying but they hold it because I'm not crying. I hope it doesn't burden them all day. I try to only tell people when it's actually relevant. I do love to talk about her though so I can't say I really avoid bringing her up either.

One thing I do get to do when I talk about her though is share the gospel. Everyone wonders why this would happen to us. I have a strong belief that this was Heavenly Fathers plan. Addison did not need to be on earth for very long because Heavenly Father needed her back. She was too valiant and righteous for this world. It makes me happy to share all that with people. I hope it brings hope into their lives and lessens the blow of our tragic story.

My next post I want to be about all the things we are doing to remember her and this is my reminder.

With a mother's love,

Addison's Mommy

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Valerie Jones Merrell: That's so interesting about being able to comfort others. I'm glad you didn't mind us all crying.

Clinton Hinckley: Heavenly Father will (and has already) make you both even stronger from this trial in your lives. The gospel is a beautiful thing.