Have a "Good" Day

March 31

The sun is back. I don't know why but it is. Yesterday was good. I woke up a little depressed but I think my mood turned after talking with some friends at church. Friends are amazing healers. I doubt they even realized they were helping me just by talking. Daddy has been amazing too. Some may say they married the best man but how many could get through this trial? I think Daddy and I are going to be just fine.

I have heard some mothers say that every child they have has taken a part of their brain. There are also proven studies that show an amnesia effect after delivery so that women forget the trauma of birth. Well I definitely have got some of that forgetfulness going on. It's incredibly frustrating but I like to think of it as Addison taking a little part of my brain (along with all of my heart). In conversation I get very easily distracted from what I want to say and then have to back track to try to pick up close to where I left off. I also forget what I want to write about. In the middle of these posts I will start to forget the point or theme of the post. Then it feels like I don't have anything to write about but that's not true. I have a million things in my heart that need to be said. My mind will just only let a few things out at a time. Still it's helpful when y'all make requests. I know everyone wants to know "how are you doing today" but actually that takes a lot of effort to answer. Most people say "good" as a robotic reply but how on earth could I be "good". People also use other days to judge how well that day is going. If I were to do that, I haven't had a "good day" since Addison was born. So then it's more of a question of "how depressed are you today". That closer to what I feel like I should answer. There is no denying the depression. Some days hurt more than others. Today I feel a little less depressed. That's as far as I know right now

Hoping you are having a "good" day

Addison's Mommy

19 likes

Krista Mullins: That's a good place to start! Do you have help today?

Emily Beth Rusch: I do

Nadya Greene: Maybe jot down some notes/points you want to focus on for your blog entries? I'm a bad scatterbrain and have had to start doing that for school papers.

Cheryl Solomon Collins: Im not sure what you are majoring in BUT I think you should get a degree in or volunteer in Grief Counseling. I wish I could have known someone like you years ago. I am amazed at how you are navigating your way through this time. You seem to be going through all of the "grief" stages and recognizing them and talking/writing through them. Addison must be telling everyone she is meeting to look at how amazing her parents are!!!! I am amazed at you and learning from you. You both continue to be in my prayers!!